GOSH~ what have i done during this whole holiday? i think i have been giving my life to MP bench working, rushing my ass off to get as many result as possible. Believe me~ i gotta make it! HAHA.

Okay, so right now i have this on-going major project that doesnt seems to be ending any time soon but i am just so vexed about it. I need to change this mindset of mine, its killing me. ;(

anyway, i decided to give myself a break by sleeping early yesterday. I slept at 10pm, yes! Usually it will be 1am, you know, like a late~~~ and i woke up at the same time (8am). D:

I supposed to be in school right now, starting on my bench work but i decided that i could do it later and thats why i started using comp. ;D

Well, before the end of 2011, i need to complete the following to save my pitiful soul ,

- Apel portfolio

- CSAS portfolio

- tidy up MP logbook

- clean the house thoroughly

I think thats all but not to forget there is still other projects running. lalalalala.

Landy, need-a-breather

Today, member A stepped into the lab, after two whole months. She was late, by an hour. I dont know what is her reason and i do not want to care. She was supposed to be assisting member N. So her first question was "What am i supposed to do?" I guided her in dry ashing steps and told her she will be in charge of doing this test from today onward. She seemed okay about it but she was obviously not listening to what i was instructing. I told her what to look out for and what not to do, she did it all. Im not sure is it on purpose or she just do not understand the reason behind those "do not(s)". Im obviously unhappy with that. What happened later on was maddening. She started questioning about the duration of the tests, a few times. The whole dry ashing takes about 4 hours maximum to finish. When the test finally end, she couldnt wait to leave. Member N and i was still busying doing other few tests and she couldnt bother asking if we need any help. She just wanna go home, saying she wanna study.

Dont i have term test too? Dont i need to revise? Isnt this Major Project a GROUP WORK? Why are you in such a hurry to go home? Will you die to stay just a couple of hours more to help out?

whatever. Im bombarding my mind with thought after thought. My whole mind is about major project. sometimes i really think im very cheap, taking everything by myself. Is it because i have a very bad leadership quality? Or communication skill? Why does it seemed like people doesnt understand what i said at all?

Next, member N wasnt any better. He kept assume things and putting words into people's mouth. what is wrong with him? One experiment, more than 3 mistakes and is not minor. When i reprimand, he also turn speechless. He just couldnt understand the principle of the test, what can i do?

Im really tired. Things are piling up like a mountain. I have to clear it before it topple and hurt me. Very much i wish to distribute the work, i just cant. They have completely drained that trust away.

Landy, helpless.